Next Breakfast – Order a Joseph Omelet

Some folks want to be remembered for their accomplishments. Some want a street or boulevard or college building named after them. Not me. I want my name on an omelet!

“Why?”, you ask with a wrinkled nose. I’ll tell you why. You see, I want to live forever. Well not really forever but 110 or 120 years sounds like worthy goals.

I was listening to the radio and one broadcaster said to the others, “Oh, I don’t think I would want to live to be 100.”. She probably would if she was in good health, but she left that part out.

I also know that life is a crap shoot. One bad case of pneumonia or a fall in the shower can ambush anyone’s plan. That along with big diseases – heart, lung, brain, etc. – and you’re lucky  to see your children on Medicare. But for those of you fellow strivers who try to get enough exercise and watch what you eat, I propose the “Joseph Omelet”.

You see, a regular omelet is made with three eggs and contains almost 5 grams of saturated fat. Because this bad fat is located in the yolks, many restaurants have started offering ell white omelets. Just picture Steve Martin in that Hollywood movie ordering an egg white omelet with spinach and asparagus. Yuck.

And have you ever seen or tasted an egg white omelet? I’m sorry, but no matter how you try to talk it up, it is like a white, tasteless goo cooked to the hardness of your choice.

Enter the Joseph Omelet, which you can order just like that and I’m hoping that if enough people do, restaurants will list it just like that on their menu. Then it will take the country by storm and breakfast joints worldwide will acclaim the Joseph as the omelet of choice for everyone who wants great color, rich taste, and a longer life.

Now, if the server looks a little blank, you may help by saying “I want an egg white omelet with one yolk.”. And BOOM! You’ve just cut your saturated fat by 67%, while keeping all that wonderful protein, vitamins, and minerals that make the egg known as the perfect food.

And if you want a recommendation where to order your Joseph omelet, why it’s Butterfield’s, of course. OMG, do they make a great omelet! They offer about any filling you want from mushrooms to ham, and yes, even spinach. I order mine with Jack and Cheddar cheese, which is a whole ‘nother discussion about saturated fat, but discipline does have its limits.

I wish you healthy, delicious dining and I’ll see you in 2054.

Happy Mother’s Day – take her out for a Joseph Omelet!